judgment day.

For 10 minutes I was in my element, on the other side of training.  I coached an athlete who recently started CrossFit, as in today was her 5th workout. CrossFit Owings Mills introduced a “new” type of programming wherein every member will be doing some sort of benchmark workout, titled Judgment Day.  It sounds scary and almost Terminator like, but it’s actually quite opposite. For the next four weeks of programming, the movements from the benchmark workout will be a focal point of the next month.  At the end of the four weeks, everyone does the same benchmark workout again, to see if he/she improved.

“Having someone judge your workout adds an element of accountability and pressure that is not always found in the daily WOD.” - Coach Nick

To get a true feel of what it’s like to be in competition mode, this box introduces a format in which members can be the coach/judge and competitor.  In a pretty packed class of about 20-30 athletes, we were broken down into pairs and the head coach explained how to be a judge (e.g. what to look for in each movement, what a “no-rep” is).  In addition to counting reps and looking for good form, the judge is also there to encourage the athlete through the workout.

I didn’t realize how much I missed this aspect of coaching – cheering on an athlete to fight through each rep.  I took into consideration that my partner was new to this (she mentioned she’d never been in a competition like this before) so I made sure I wasn’t being too hard on her.  Since this benchmark had a time limit, in the moments where she was resting I gave her succinct cues on how to strategize the next movement, by breaking down the rep scheme.  As a newbie, and I’ve been through this as well, you don’t necessarily know how to strategize the WOD.  Typically you just fight through each rep ‘til exhaustion, and that’s not necessarily the best way to go about a workout – as in you’ll get burned out early on.

Completing all 270 reps (ranging from single-unders to thrusters to pull-ups) in 9 minutes and 42 seconds, she finished her first competition-like workout under the 10-minute cap.  Although exhausted, and lying on the floor in true CrossFit fashion, she was completely stunned and elated that she got through it all.

Kudos to her for pushing through, and I’m proud to say I had a minor role in her accomplishment.

#humblebrag

when cheat day goes wrong.

I can’t remember the last time I had a Cinnabon.  It was definitely before I started CrossFitting, so it had to have been at least 3 years ago.  Every time I would walk through a mall food court, the smell alone would sweep me off my feet.  Cinnamon, sugar, freshly baked bread.  Goodness. I don’t know how I resisted. Fast forward to today.  I had just finished wrapping up a fantastic meeting in the city with two phenomenal women in the fitness industry.  The weather was perfect – 75 degrees, no humidity – and there was time to kill.  I decided to have lunch with my mom and bask in the beauty of the day.  Earlier this week I had asked my fellow Facebook friends what their favorite breakfast spot in Baltimore was, and Miss Shirley’s Café came up multiple times.

Voted Baltimore Magazine’s “Best of Baltimore 2013” winner, we were both excited to try out the food.  Miss Shirley’s is known for it’s southern home cooking – offering everything from funky monkey bread (if you haven’t tried this before..ohmygawd) to the Eastern Shore ‘Po Boy.

As an athlete, I typically use Thursday’s and Sunday’s as my rest days and cheat days but because of the holiday earlier this week, I decided to make Friday my cheat day.  And boy, did I cheat.

I ordered the Cinnamon Roll French Toast with banana slices on top.  Three (massive) cinnamon rolls dipped in an almond scented egg mix, drizzled with cream cheese Icing, dusted with cinnamon and powdered sugar.

Death

How can you say no to that?

The first 15 bites or so, just enough to finish one out of the three rolls, were divine. Then I got incredibly full, but was disappointed that there was still so much left on the plate.  So I paused for a couple minutes, drank some water, and decided to eat just a little bit more (mistake #1) and drew the line when I was a third way finished with the second roll.

I never want to deprive myself of food that makes my feeds my soul (a.k.a. not-so-healthy) so I always allow myself a day or two out of the week to eat whatever I want to stay sane. I also don’t often go overboard on cheat days, but today was just different.  The combination of the bread (wheat) and a crap ton of sugar (mistake #2) literally took over my body.  I felt sick and uncomfortable and was thinking twice about my decision.  We finished our meals, made our way home in which I was trying to stay awake, and when we got home – I crashed.  My body ached, I was incredibly tired and felt motionless.  My body was literally going through shock. I have never experienced this type of reaction before and I never want to go through this again.  Even while I’m writing this – 9 hours later – I don’t feel 100%.

Was it worth it? Yes. Will I eat this again? No.

Note to self: Don’t over-indulge. Stay away from sugar.

Tomorrow I go back to training, and I’m afraid.

know when to say no.

An interesting article was posted on Breakingmuscle.com on what it means to be a CrossFit coach is being circulated around the interwebs.  I wrote something similar, from my past experience, and this post resonated with me tremendously. This comes about a week or so after this picture* posted by CrossFit Brick New York circulated through Instagram, Facebook and CrossFit blogs causing somewhat of an outrage.

*this image has since been removed from Brick New York’s Instagram feed.

When I first saw this picture, my first reaction was oh.my.gawd. why.  Jaw dropped, shaking my head...why why why.

For the majority of people who’ve probably never experienced a pull-up before (with or without a resistance band) this may not seem like a big deal.  In the CrossFit community, heck the fitness community, the majority of the people were furious.

Since the original post is no longer available, I can’t quote exactly what Brick New York commented, but it was along the lines of: the members pictured completed the WOD and wanted to try this out afterwards. List this under sign #1 that as a coach, you could’ve done better.

The fact that this post is no longer on their feed justifies that they know it wasn’t a good idea.  In this case, bad publicity isn’t necessarily good for the box.  They recently opened their facility and have incredible amenities, but having this picture up couldn’t have been great for their reputation.

I’m not undermining their ability as coaches or athletes, I’m just hoping that they know when to say no to their members.  Hopefully no one got injured from this, and that they use the negativity constructive criticism as a wake up call to understand the potential downfall of not being assertive with their members.

In this particular case, maybe it was a good thing that it went completely viral and caused a ruckus throughout the fitness community.  No one teaches you the morality of coaching.  It’s something that you have to understand and go through by experimenting.  Lesson learned.

show up and do work.

“The song we’re composing already exists in potential. Our work is to find it.” – Steven Pressfield

In the moments where I am thinking of all the reasons I shouldn’t go or do something, I muster up the energy and courage to actually venture out and explore why I’m resisting this thing in the first place.

It’s the moments when I show up before the sun rises to work out, the moments when I step into a new box and butterflies fly throughout my body, and the moments when I go with my gut and explore a place I’ve never been, that come out to be some of the most fulfilling and gratifying experiences.

Every time I feel this type of resistance, the “why am I doing this” mindset,  it pushes me to actually dive into this feeling.  Each time I explore this weird and often awkward and uncomfortable sensation, I come out feeling better than ever.

Showing up in places like this has more often than not, led me in a direction of progress. I connect with people whom I’d never imagine, and just by telling a little piece of my story opens up the door for opportunities.

Showing up means widening your network.  It means using this chance to express who you are, to share the best part of you in the most organic fashion without expecting anything in return.  It means fighting the resistance to see what you’re actually capable of doing.

I have yet to encounter an experience where I regretted not being a part of.  This isn’t to say that every occurrence is something that will be life changing or truly remarkable, but each one has value.  Whether it brings my weaknesses to surface or exemplifies my strengths, there is no wrong doing when I show up and do work.

accountability and performance.

Maybe it was the food I ate over the weekend that slowed me down? Maybe because I didn’t have someone standing beside me counting my reps and pushing me through the WOD? Maybe it’s because I didn’t eat enough today? I revisited 13.1 today, a workout that I haven’t done since March of this year.  17 minutes, as many reps as possible of the following sequence:

17min AMRAP: 40 Burpees 30 Snatches (75#/45#) 30 Burpees 30 Snatches (135#/75#) 20 Burpees 30 Snatches (165#/100#) 10 Burpees Max Snatches (205#/120#)

This time, there wasn’t a target that you had to hit 6” above.  Yet, I still didn’t do as well as I did the first time. Since I can’t pinpoint exactly why this is the case, I’m going to go ahead and assume that it was a combination of factors that hindered my performance.

Prior to this specific workout, I worked on getting a one-rep max on snatches.  My current personal record (PR) is 95 pounds, and today I wanted to at least attempt this since I hadn’t done this movement in a few months.  I nailed 85 pounds, nailed 90 and failed twice at 95 pounds.  The third time, I asked the coach if he could watch my form and with a few cues, I nailed it with ease. Reason number 2,321 why everyone needs a coach.

Fast forward to the end of 13.1, when I realized I wasn’t going to match or beat my previous time, I began to question my performance.  Thinking back to just 20 minutes prior, when I had someone watching my form, I nailed a movement.

So to answer my own questions, I perform much better when someone is at my side.  Having someone to hold you accountable keeps you on track and could even push you to go beyond what you thought was possible.

Motivation and determination can only come from within, but performance and progress go hand in hand when you have someone (or a team) rooting you on.

building a pipeline.

Having worked in sales, this alongside “always be closing” was a phrase that was said almost daily.  It’s one thing to be confident and know that you can sell anything to anyone, but not everyone you speak with is going to purchase from you immediately, regardless if you’re a top seller or not.  It’s mandatory to be able to have a list of people that are considered warm leads, and when the timing is right, or you have all the necessary material to seal the deal, you go back to that list and close. Every couple of months I get calls from friends (or friends of friends) who want to work for my previous employer.  They ask for tips, advice and any inside scoop on what they should say.  Not that I’m 100% opposed to offering some advice, I always circle back to what they want out of said position.  Being removed a little over a year, there are more than likely changes in position titles, but what hasn’t changed is the selling process.  Selling of self, in particular.

With a competitive market, especially when applying to big-name companies, there isn’t much room to not be on your a-game. “There isn’t a position available at this moment, so what we’re doing is building a pipeline of potential candidates should one be available.”  I’ve experienced this outcome first-hand, both as the interviewer and the candidate, and can attest that the absolute best thing you can do is to be yourself and completely honest with what you want.

Regardless if there’s a position open or not, coming into the interview and being able to capitalize immediately by relating to the employer or finding a connection always leaves a lasting impression.  When the timing is right, your future employer will go back to his/her list of candidates, and pick you to fill that position.

personal development.

Life gives me words.  It’s the actions I do, the places I go and the beauty of what’s around me that gives me fuel to write.  I’m noticing more each day how I naturally gravitate to dedicating late nights to reflection and putting my thoughts to paper. Earlier today I was asked what does personal development mean [to me], and in what ways do I see myself needing to improve.

The premise and basic foundation of this craft is to always strive to get better every day.  No matter what it is that you do, diving in to your skills, figuring out what you can improve on – whether it’s through education, teaching or experimentation – is the only way to grow.

It’s the experimentation of my daily schedule that I know needs improvement.  When I was employed and had a “9-5ish “job, I didn’t really have to put too much thought into my schedule.  I got in at 9am, replied to emails for about an hour, recorded data, made some calls, then it was lunch at noon.  Back from lunch, check/reply to emails, set/conduct meetings, then it was time to go home…or stay for another six hours if there was a game.

Now my day is a lot different in the sense that I literally create my own schedule.  I’m not as focused on sending emails or ideating, so to say, in the morning.  I tend to gravitate to reading articles that are meant to inspire and spark the creative light in me.  Mid-day I focus on exploring everything related to health & fitness, and in the evenings is when I put my ideas and thoughts to paper.

It’s a simple format, but it’s not necessarily easy to do day in and day out.  I’m still struggling with finding times where I’m most productive at each of these times.  What I have noticed is that when I envision what I want my schedule to look like each day and what goals I want to accomplish, I get sh*t done.

With this vision set, I dive in to each day with gusto and it feels great.

pitch observations.

If you’re going to sell a product, whether it’s something you created or are pitching on behalf of your employer, you better know everything about it. The other day, a representative from a USDA certified meat & fish distributor came to my house and without even figuring out what I wanted, he immediately went in for the sale.

I recorded the majority of the conversation, missing the first minute or so. To listen/watch – click here.

As a person who’s interested in eating healthy, and takes interest in the quality and care of food, I really wanted to hear what these guys were trying to sell me on. Grass-fed beef? Go on. Quality fish? Go on. However, things didn’t go exactly as they had planned…

There are a plethora of things that went wrong, and that if they actually knew what they were talking about, could’ve prevented a lot of misleading or lack of information.

First, they made the assumption that I knew about their company.  They assumed that because of my location that I would’ve seen their trucks riding around.  They even dropped a line that a couple famous athletes who live in the area eat their product and were shocked that I didn’t know this information.

Second, they completely ignored basic rapport building.  Not even a simple “hello, what’s your name” until about two minutes into the conversation.

Third, they didn’t listen until I drilled questions related to their products, in which they had very little information on.  They couldn’t answer where their meat/fish came from, what else is in their ingredients and they had mentioned that their products are “all natural” when in fact, I looked at the ingredients and there were about 15 things listed that were all manufactured crap.

I had and have no intention of ever purchasing from them, not so much because their food isn't something that I would eat, but because their front line doesn’t even know the product.

When asked where can I find more information about them, they mentioned their website and immediately got defensive and said – ignore the comments that are mainly about the drivers.  If you have bad service or are aggressive to the point where it’s offensive, regardless of your product, it’s going to be a tough to get through to your customer to have them buy.

Better luck next time.

art first.

Jay-Z is one of my favorite artists.  Not just because of his music or that he’s married to Beyonce, but because of the way he crafts and strategically places his next move. He’s the epitome of an entrepreneur, creating and mastering his craft through trial and error.

I forget which late night talk show he was guest appearing on, but he said such a profound statement that resonated with me:

"I'm all for collaborations. Whether it be with business or artists. It can't be about money. There has to be something in there that is true to both sides. At the end of the day, no one loses when it's like that; the fit just has to be organic and natural. That's when it works best. You can't make art with business in mind. You know, you have to make art first. Make it [music] out of passion, then figure out how to be a businessman after that." - Jay-Z 

His first album was released when he was 26.  For most rappers, that’s considered to be pretty late in the game. But for Jay, he spent that time observing.  He was more mature, and had more experiences at this age – perfect age to release something that took years in the making.

I work very differently than most people I know.  I take the time, maybe sometimes too much, creating my art – through conversations, through workouts, through meditating, through writing.  Being reminded of this quote, always gives me a sense of balance and comfort to know that what I’m doing is okay.

Pursue what gives you life – what you utterly enjoy doing every day – and create a network that feeds off of your passion.  Being genuine in your actions, honest with your words, and creating something that grows from that will show you what path you need to be on.  No one has to know what your idea is, hell you might not even know, but opportunities will show up when you’re keeping this in mind first.

the will to win.

This wasn’t just your typical partner workout.   It’s not the one where you get so excited to pair up with your BFF or your friend that you know kicks ass every single class.  This was a pure fight to win with your challenger alongside you. Today I was given a dose of friendly competition.  In CrossFit, and pretty much any other sport, the point of being part of a team and community is to keep moving.  It’s to try to go unbroken and finish each rep.  It’s to give it your 100% til the very last second and in the end, the goal is to win whether as a team or as an individual.

Four rounds of 12 burpees, 10 toes to bar and 4 power snatches was this “partner” workout.  One person would start with the 12 burpees, and as soon as he/she completes those, the second person will start.  The point of this was for the first person to not let the second person catch up and take the lead.

I have yet to encounter a workout quite like this one.  It was fantastic – pure competition.  This is the practice, the hard work, the hours spent behind the scenes, learning how to compete, strategize and win.  Testing for competition – both within CrossFit and your life outside of it.

When you’re paired up with someone in this sense, you’re strategically trying to pace yourself just enough that you’ll have lasting energy to push you through those last few seconds, where in essence, every rep counts. As an athlete, not only do you have to be self-aware, but be able to react and adapt to each movement that not only you do, but also what your competition is doing.

Get a glance at how they’re pacing alongside with you, or when they’ve started to get fatigued, or lose some form of their technique.  If you have the stamina to push an extra few seconds harder during those times, it could make a huge difference.

This was a great break from the other partner WODs that I’ve been a part of.  Not to say one is better than the other, they’re just not the same.  They both allow different ways to win – one as a team, the other as an individual.

At the end, no matter what, there is still encouragement regardless if you came out on top or not.  That’s the beauty of competition – fight to win, and applaud the effort.

enhance performance, reduce stress.

I often get asked what to eat prior to workouts.  Without confusing you or saying what you should do, I’ll let you know what’s worked for me.  There are hundreds of different answers, but it ultimately depends on what type of workout you plan on doing.  Is it something intense like CrossFit? Plan on running for 3 miles? Signed up for a yoga class? Regardless of the exercises, you need some sort of fuel to give you energy that’s needed for you to get through the workout.  For me, I’ve noticed that when I plan on taking a yoga class or run for 20-30 minutes, I drink more water and tend to eat something light about 45 minutes prior to the class/run.  A banana with about 2 tablespoons of almond butter is enough for me.

If I plan on just working on high reps with low weight strength training, I tend to eat more protein and a good source of fat + carb like a piece of chicken with avocado or a ½ small sized sweet potato.

However, when it comes to something that requires more focus and exertion like a CrossFit class, I make sure I had a full meal a few hours before the class, and again about 30 minutes prior, a fruit with almond butter.  Sometimes this is enough to get me through the workout, but I notice more often that when I take a Rhodiola supplement in addition to food, my energy and focus is through the roof, and I perform noticeably better than without the supplement.

How Rhodiola supplements make me feel indestructible and focused on my workout:

About an hour before I know I’m going to be doing an intense workout, I pop two pills – or 150mg worth of the stuff. 30-45 minutes prior to.  If I’m going for a long run (for me, that’s 3-4 miles), I pop one pill 30 minutes beforehand.

Rhodiola rosea is an herb that’s known to enhance performance (work or sport), decrease fatigue and to stimulate the nervous system.  I take a rhodiola supplement that also contains green tea extract, which is also known to give you energy.  I’m less fatigued during the actual workouts (specifically when doing as many rounds of several movements within a set time frame) and definitely more focused on the actual technique and my pace of each movement.

Most people mention being in a zone during workouts or getting a runner’s high and for me, rhodiola not only enhances both of those feelings simultaneously, but shortens my recovery time after each workout.

I highly recommend this if you need an extra boost to get you through a workout.

we are in the future.

As a kid, I often daydreamed of what the world would look like “when I got older.” I wouldn’t say I was necessarily obsessed with sci-fi stuff, but I thoroughly enjoyed movies like Jurassic Park, Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Back to the Future (all of them).  To me, getting older meant that we’d be flying around to get to friends houses and devouring pizza that didn’t take FOREVER to deliver or make. Now we officially have hoverboards, the foundation of a system to transport us from Los Angeles to San Francisco in 30 minutes, and healthy food that you can’t chew.

When I first heard about Soylent a couple months ago, my immediate thoughts were “WTF is this?!” and “WTF – this is actually good for you?!” Then had flashbacks to that pizza scene in Back to the Future Part II.  I kept thinking that there’s no way this is good for you.  Then I started reading about it & Rob Rhinehart, the man behind this creation.

Soylent currently has over $1 million in pre-orders all through crowd funding.  People that are conscious about their health want convenience.  To have a healthy go to meal that you don’t have to think about preparing, that carries all the essential nutrients you need to function? Um, yeah that appears to be the move.  But there’s still debate on the actual benefits of this product.

The FDA approved the mixture in order for it to be available for purchase nationwide.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s good for you or for everyone. Rhinehart says this isn’t made for everyone, but it consists of 90% of his daily food intake. He’s documented his weight, bloodwork and exercise performance while drinking Soylent and dropped 15 pounds from it.  Tim Ferris recently posted the documentation of another tester of Soylent and there are still a lot of concerns, problems and more data to be analyzed.

Although there is enough technology to make our lives simpler as it relates to our overall health, we still have a ways to go to make sure that it is in fact, good for us.  In the meantime, I’ll stick to my locally grown veggies and grass-fed meats.

humbled.

I recently started training again – this time as part of the class – at a local CrossFit box, consistently.  Consistent meaning training at least 4x a week. I’m a coach, and I’ve been training CrossFit for the past 2 ½ years.  For the most part, this means absolutely nothing as it relates to workouts getting easier.  Granted, some movements I’ve noticeably gotten better at – double unders, snatches, pull-ups – so anytime there’s a WOD that has either of those movements… I’m excited.

However, the workouts never get easier.  The point [of everything really] is to get better every day.  After about a two-week hiatus of not doing any HIIT training, my first day in this new box, I got my ass kicked.  To the point I couldn’t even finish the workout. It was a Monday, and Monday’s usually mean the workouts tend to be the toughest – to “burn off” whatever you indulged in over the weekend.  This workout was a combination of Hero and a benchmark WOD:

"An-hel-en" 40 Pull Ups 40 Push Ups 40 Sit Ups 40 Squats 400m Run 21 Kettle Bell Swings (24kg/16kg) 12 Pull Ups 75 Wallballs (20#/14#)

My legs were noodles by the time I finished the KB swings.  I stopped with 35 wall balls left.  I know my body well enough to know when it’s time for me to stop to prevent injury and just passing out.  It’s not a good look.

Instead of sulking or being disappointed in my performance, I took this as an opportunity to train even harder – but at a scaled pace.  From coaching, researching, studying, analyzing and testing out various forms of exercises, I’m ingraining a habit to go at my own pace, to scale accordingly to make sure I’m doing movements properly and not letting ego get in the way.

For the record – this WOD looks a lot easier on paper.

on selfishness.

Quick Memo: It’s not about you! Unless you’re of course giving a speech, selling or marketing your brand – which just so happens to be you, amongst other things I'm sure.  Anyways, hear me out for a minute...

People gravitate to those who can lift them up, keep them inspired, engaged and always learning.  They tend to be attracted to those that enhance a feeling of happiness and comfort.  For others to know if you even fit that role, it can’t be all about you.  Selfish tendencies don’t allow room for giving – unless – you’re taking care of yourself first in order to provide to others (e.g. focusing on your visions/goals/health).

Navigating the path of paying attention to personal development, while also being able to share your gifts with those who either keep you in check or need your expertise, isn’t always clear.  I’ve shut off some people unintentionally because I wanted to figure out what I wanted, without regards to what they had to say.  When I want to reconnect, it’s a tougher and much more uncomfortable conversation to have.  So what’s the simple solution to this? Listen.  The key factor in any form of communication is being able to listen to what the other person has to say.   If you’re not clear on something ask, without hesitation.  Even if you think you’re clear on something, repeat it so you’re all on the same page.

It’s okay to be all about you, at times, but just make sure you’re doing it for the good of others as well.  No one likes a closed-off, one-sided friend.  The more open you are with others, the more the world opens for you.  It all goes back to the feeling of fulfillment and gratitude, which is what I strive for at all times. So maybe, this is more of a make room for yourself…to grow…so that others can naturally help you along the way.

This is almost completely unrelated, but while writing this, I kept singing this song.  As you were…

mobilize.

There was a period where I didn’t step into a CrossFit box to train for weeks on end.  After experiencing one of the most humbling workouts training at Equinox (TRX to be specific) I knew there were major issues that I needed to fix prior to lifting any type of weight again.  I had issues that I didn’t even know were a big deal until I tried working out using just my body weight. I thought it was normal to hear a click in my hips as I did mountain climbers.  I thought my left heel would never touch the ground when I did a squat due to a high-school soccer injury that I never took care of.  Holding a plank position, I thought it was normal to feel a slight burning sensation in my lower back.  That means it’s getting stronger right?! Smh.  It wasn’t until I read stories and was educated on proper technique and form that I knew pain and not being mobile isn’t normal or good. So, I started paying attention to my movements.  I started paying attention to any pains or sensations that I felt while doing basic, functional movements and researched how to fix each issue.  Pain that is ongoing is never a good thing.  Soreness, yes, but never pain.  The three areas that I needed to focus the most on were my t-spine, ankle and hip mobility.

Focusing on these areas using foam roll techniques, exercising using just my own body weight and spending about 10 minutes each day on mobilizing these areas using a lacrosse ball (which I have a love/hate relationship with), has improved my form tremendously.  Taking supplements that help with joint mobility and inflammation (glucosamine and omega-3) has shown a significant improvement in the way I move on a daily basis.

Being fit to me doesn’t just mean being able to look big, or lean or any other type of physical attribute for aesthetic reasons.  To me, being fit means being able to perform everyday functions without feeling any pain.  It means being able to catch an NYC train without running out of breath or pulling a muscle as you’re cleaning up things around the house.  Performance over aesthetics, all day.

My go to resources on mobility: -       Kelly Starrett’s Mobility WOD Videos -       Practicing Vinyasa yoga -       Exercises to do especially if you sit all day long

core value.

I missed two days worth of posts because, well, life happened. I won’t bore you with the details, but things pop up out of your control and you just have to deal with it, fix the issue and move on. This weekend was a beautiful refresher to spend time with someone I admire and to connect with strong, confident, powerful women who are all helping to make the world a better place through education.  As I’m getting older, I’m reminded how much of an impact of what I put out in the world is a reflection of who I surround myself with: supportive, confident, strong and smart-as-hell people.

The best advice I’ve ever gotten is to trust yourself and do what you love, no matter what.  I have heard this from only a handful of people who are also the closest to me.  I don’t believe in having a wide circle of friends just for the sake of having them.  I’d much rather prefer to have a core group of people who I can share my experiences and thoughts with.  Too many voices and “words of advice” can be confusing, distracting and ultimately counterproductive.  Not everyone needs to know what you’re going through and not everyone will care.

I understand the need to have a core group of people that I can confide in and trust more and more as I experiment in this thing called life.  They’re a diverse set of people, ranging in ages and backgrounds, but they all share one thing in common: connection.  Connection in a way that they truly care what I have to say, they look me in the eyes, and check in to see how I’m doing or just to say hi.  Understanding the difference between them and everyone else isn’t that difficult. Disconnecting from those who no longer serve my purpose at this time has been liberating.  This in itself has allowed me to focus on who brings value to my life as well as how I can help them in return.

rush.

Scrambling to write a post before midnight today.  I should’ve planned ahead. I should’ve spent time writing instead of taking a 3-hour nap this afternoon.  I should’ve at least scripted what today’s post was going to be like, now I’m rushing because I told a friend I’d meet up tonight for a drink. There’s a sudden rush of anxiety that has taken over me as I write this.  I want to get this done, yet am also debating from holding it off until I get back.  Yet, I know that when I’m settled again, I’ll be too tired to write, or would rather read, or come up with any other excuse than to write up a post.

So here I am.  Writing away.  This in itself will end up being tonight’s post and already I can feel a sense of relief as I rush to type out each word.

Sitting in an apartment in the city – less than two weeks since I left – and I still get tense and have mixed feelings about being here.  I’m definitely not fully recharged, nor did I expect to be.  This city has an unbelievable pull and source of energy that is hard to describe if you’ve never been here.  Jenny Blake actually describes it best in this post. It was 1:30pm and every restaurant with outdoor seating was filled to cap with people.  As I went to pick up lunch, I automatically felt like I had to hurry up to pick it up, even though the hostess said it would be ready by 1:45. I stepped outside and automatically caught the "New York" walk. There were people speed walking on the sidewalk, a couple having a heated discussion on the corner, construction workers taking a break on a stoop smoking cigarettes, joggers dodging the slower walkers on the sidewalk – just people everywhere. I took a second and literally told myself what. is. the rush. and slowed down.  It’s not surprising to be able to walk out of your office building or apartment and not see at least 20 people outside the door.  For me, as an introvert, this is almost dreadful.

Luckily, or thankfully rather, I’m only here for 48 hours.

serenity.

Prior to purchasing my own domain, I had a site titled balancing reflections.  When I first purchased my DSLR I was living in Miami with Biscayne Bay literally as my backyard.  I would wake up to catch the sunrise on my balcony, snap photos, play around with the settings and would get some incredible shots of the sky reflecting in the bay. Searching for pictures during this time period left me nostalgic, yet I am glad I was able to capture these moments. I’m filled with gratitude for the experiences I have been able to go through, and the pictures that I’ve taken are a true reflection of how I see the world, which as it turns out, how I see myself. There is beauty in every experience, even if at times it may feel rocky or unsettling.

This picture below is of me standing on the edge of Gorée Island in the West African country of Senegal.  The history of this island in itself is not pleasing at all.  Thousands of men, women and children were held captive and later sent off to various parts of the Caribbean and the U.S. as slaves, where they would never return home.

Reflection on Rocks

As I toured the island in November 2012, I was filled with so many emotions.  I cried at times, laughed more and really tried to grasp and appreciate everything that was going on at that moment.  When I stood on the top of these rocks, I reminded myself that in the midst of the pain and torture that happened a few hundred years prior on this very island, I am standing and overlooking a beautiful landscape.

Remembering the stories of those who sacrificed their lives for us, appreciating every single breath I took, every wave that came crashing into the rocks, appreciating the opportunity to reflect on life.

always be learning.

We all know that there is a ton of information on the web.  A lot of it is also free.  Within seconds you can find what you want through Google, Wikipedia and Learnist.  If you want to become better at something, you learn as much as you can about it.  You interact with people who are considered experts, you test out what you’ve learned and you become better the more you dive into whatever field this is. Learning is technically free.  You can do your own research, apply for school and get scholarships or grants, or you can sign up for free classes online.  Online learning? For free? On topics that I’m actually interested in? Sign. Me. Up.

I recently enrolled in two courses through Coursera.  Social Psychology and Learn to Program: The Fundamentals [nerd alert!]. Each of these courses is about 6 weeks long, and requires 6-8 hours/week worth of studying and attention and are taught by some great professors. Lots of reading material, interesting discussions, a couple quizzes here and there...overall mind-blowing stimulation and I couldn't be happier.

In order for me to be unique in my field and just be an overall badass, I need (and want) to learn as much as I possibly can on subjects just like these.  Social psychology is the scientific study of understanding how people think about, influence and relate to one another. Umm, hell. Yes. It hasn’t even been a week into the course and I’m already blown away by what is being discussed.

The Learn to Program course hasn’t started yet, but I signed up for this because I want to be able to at least know the basics on how to make this site a bit better, without outsourcing/paying for someone else to do it (at least not initially).  I’m also reminded what it would be like if I stuck with comp sci in college, but I digress.

Here are a couple other free online education sites that are worth checking out: Open Culture Academic Earth

General Assembly is another resource for continuing education. It’s not free nor have I tried it yet, but it’s definitely on my radar.

The point of all of this is that learning never stops.  No matter what you’re interested in, there will always be new studies and information at your disposal.  The key to being great at what you do is using resources like these to help you excel and show the world what you’re made of.

passion and desire.

“If you are influenced by the opinion of others, you will have no desire of your own.” – Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich)

Passion is defined as an intense desire or enthusiasm for something; a strong and barely controllable emotion.

I was filling out a questionnaire online today and this question came up: “What are you most passionate about?”

I took a couple minutes to really listen to myself – to take this question and let it wrap around my mind.  I started to write down all the things that I enjoy doing.  This list comprised of things ranging from fitness to traveling to writing to meditating to spending time with people I absolutely adore.  I want to be involved of all of these activities, at different times of my day and periods of my life, but this all ties into one simple message.  I am passionate about spreading the message to do what you love.

Having discussions with people about this very topic is not always easy.  Some questions that tend to come up are how do you make money from that? How do you support yourself? How do you support your family? Those questions matter, but they shouldn’t be the reason to divert you from pursuing what you love.  This concept can be difficult to grasp if you’re constantly asking people for advice or trying to fit in to a certain group to be accepted.  I’ve been there.  I’ve been lost in the opinion of others, not having a clue if what I did was actually because I enjoyed it.

Everyone wants to be happy and successful.  These two desires can only come when you declare what you’re passionate about.  From blocking outside noise, from being courageous with your decision making and knowing that it’s coming from a place that no one else can have access to.  Your own true self.