There are people that come in to your life, those you share every part of your life with and those who don’t. In each moment, each project, each phase of your life, you left a footprint whether you realized it or not. Some may have been smaller than others, but the point is that you made your mark. I recently caught up with a friend about things you typically talk about: what are you up to now, what have you done since we last spoke, where do you live, etc. and shared with him my anxiety about catching up with people I haven’t seen or spoke to in years.
Anxiety may not be the right word to use in this case since it stems from a feeling of fear, as I wasn’t afraid to catch up, just unsure of what questions I was going to be asked and how much I should mention/respond or how in depth into the question should I answer with.
There are a million things I’ve done since I’ve last seen those I was visiting, so when I was mentally preparing for my response to “what are you doing now” and “how are you” I tensed up and thought, where do I even begin with this?
My friend’s feedback was so simple and effective: when someone asks you how you’re doing and immediately asks “good?” without me even having a chance to respond, just leave it at that. “Yes, I’m doing good.” In those few seconds, I recognize and sense the person’s feigned enthusiasm and move on.
Those who care will ask deeper questions that go below the surface level. Luckily for me, I have more people that care than not.
Disclaimer for the grammar police: doing good instead of doing well was intentional.