the vent.

“Don’t be naïve, yeah, these times is hard…” – Big K.R.I.T. No one really ever talks about the tough times.  The times in the midst of transition – the doubts, the assumptions, the what-ifs.

Everyone likes or RTs quotes that they feel that they can relate to, but honestly I don’t think that everyone actually has been through or lived through the steps to get to these “a-ha” moments.

It’s easy to hit the like button.  It’s easy to RT.  But what most people tend to miss is the hard stuff.  The trials and tribulations of what it takes to get to that eye-opening quote that they’ve read.

Consider this me venting and being completely transparent, but no one really talks about the shit stuff that one goes through to figure out what they want to do.

I can allude to different tactics, and situations or scenarios that I’ve been in, but every situation is different.

What it comes down to is that not too many people give a shit what you’ve went through.  They just see where you are now, and if you're successful in their eyes, they want to skip all the steps/trial/tribulations to reach the same success as you.  As cliché as it is, nothing in life - that matters - comes easy.  At least the stuff worth living for or working towards.

I’ve never been so scared or nervous in my life until up to this point.  Trying to alleviate the stress by working out or writing or diverting to a wine glass (or three), just hides the symptoms.

Being brave enough to confront what I’m feeling and coming to grips that this is my reality and something that I have never done before gives me so much anxiety.  Learning to go through this pain/process is honestly the hardest thing that I’ve been through.

I doubt most things.  I question everything.  But at the same time, I know that I have this confidence that is dominating every doubt that I can ever have in my head.  This is what’s carrying me through each day.

I use my writing to vent.  Not everyone will understand what I’m going through.  And honestly, I don’t care.  What I care about is that people should realize that not everything is sugar coated, not everyone is perfect, and every situation that you think of in your head isn’t going to go exactly as planned.  You have to work so hard for what you want.

Risking everything and pursuing something that completely terrifies me is the ultimate test.

Win or lose, I know that as long as I put in the work I’ll be a better person because of it.

[Vent/rant over.]