give and receive.

Lately, I’ve been offered gifts so to speak from people whom I pretty much share everything with.  Some offers I’ve kindly declined because it just didn’t fit at the time, and others I’ve been somewhat forced to accept because I was told I couldn’t say yes or no to them.  [Meanwhile, in my head I'm screaming "let me have a choice!"a.k.a. "let me be in control!"] I’ve always had a tough time accepting items.  I used to hide my birthdate on Facebook for years because I didn’t want the attention from my friends posting on my wall (pre timeline verbiage), or the calls and texts that would come from it.  I never really made a list of things I wanted for Christmas or birthdays – and if I did, it was so insignificant that I don’t remember it.  I’m not sure if it’s because of how I was raised or if it’s from just having too much pride, if there is such a thing.  Whatever the case, I’ve learned that this isn’t necessarily a wise mentality to have.

A sort of emptiness has been a recurring feeling and I could never really pinpoint why...which brings me to my desire of being fulfilled.

Understanding that there are people in place to help out, support and give without me asking them to do so, is really difficult for me to grasp - yet I know it’s necessary in order for me to be able to give back.

“My intent today is to maximize my experience of giving and receiving & so keep abundance flowing." – Deepak Chopra

When I stumbled upon this quote it all made sense.  Giving without accepting or receiving anything in return can leave you depleted and drained. Once I started to be okay with accepting what people (and the universe) gave me, I felt nourished.  This enables me to have the energy and drive to be able to give back and ultimately feel full.