from scratch.

Ok, so I’m going to attempt to try and change the direction of my blog or site, this thing that I’m using to share my thoughts.

Not that you probably care, but I’ve been struggling with trying to get my thoughts out that make the most sense to you.  It’s funny how everything makes so much sense in my head, and the second I try to compile everything and actually write what I’m thinking – I get stuck, which costs me time because each post takes me at least 15 minutes to write (and that’s if I don’t time myself).  Then I worry about grammar and punctuation and re-read it and edit and delete and finally post.  But now, eff that. 

Btw - all the other stuff is still relevant, and I stand by them 100% because each one was brought upon by an actual experience that I encountered.

Now that that’s out the way…

Starting from scratch.  It’s almost been a year since I’ve left Miami and the HEAT organization.  If you were to tell me that I’d spend $17,000 in less than a year, I’d say no effing way.  This is what happens when you travel, move, buy food, and other random things that I care not to list.  No one said that where I am now would be one of the toughest times of my life.  Not that it’s a bad thing, at all, it’s just that doing stuff that I’ve never done before – move, live in NY, build my own business, not have a desk job – would test every part of my body, physically and mentally.

This move has in essence, forced me to think differently, to pursue a life that spins off of what I enjoy doing – by learning and embracing every aspect of the business.  I’m more vulnerable and exposed than I ever have been before.  Sharing what I’m experiencing is something that I hope to dispense on you to know that it’s okay to take a leap.  Just have a better plan than I did.  I had an idea, but no plan.  Thankfully, my idea came to fruition because I willed it – and the universe just aligned to make it happen for me – pretty much NY or bust.  Not really bust, but just to keep paying attention and taking any opportunity that made sense with what I had interest in that lined up with transitioning to NY.   

The difference a year makes is that my meetings now consist of learning how the body works and exercise progressions vs. projecting ticket sales and logistics of events.  The difference is that I’m more in tune with who I am by expressing and exposing myself more so than ever.  Because I have to.  Because I need to. Because it’s the only way for me to stand out from everyone and everything else.

Starting from scratch is scary.  Yet sometimes it’s necessary.  In my case, I chose to change the way I lived.  Some people are forced to.  Diving into a new industry and having to actually hustle and grind - not for my boss, or to make me look good for doing work that I was supposed to be doing anyways - but for myself, is and was so necessary.  I’m not anywhere close to where I want to be, but I know I’m following the right path – my path – with a few bumps along the way.

I’ve met some incredible people this year, some of whom I’ve only needed to connect with just for a day or a few months, who‘ve helped spark new ideas and visions of what I want to accomplish in the future.  I think it’s necessary to have a person or few people that share the same values as you.  You need a support system. No. Matter. What. 

Nowadays, it’s not so much starting from scratch, but actually doing and creating something that has never been done before.  Building my brand.  Putting – Sabrina – on the map.

Now that’s pretty scary.